Soo..yap.
He loves to play basketball, a tall person, clever, and kind.
I knew him from elementary school, both of us in the same school.
gw ingeet jaman waktu kelas 11 dan ada tes Ujian Kenaikan Kelas, gw simpen foto dia pas lagi main basket biar semangat belajarnya. HAHAHA itu agak bego. Gw tau, gw tau -___-
gw inget gw kasih liat ke Rere foto2 dia pas muncul di news feed fb.
gw inget jaman gw SMP gw pernah girang dapet undian tempat duduk bareng sebelahan dan pernah satu kelompok presentasiin materi absurd "madu" wkwkwk
gw inget pas sama2 jadi candle ultah temen, kita udah beda sekolah di SMA dan kita sapa2an, seneng bangeet :) tp misah waktu ada kembang api di outdoor, dan dia udah harus ke pesta lain hahaha.
yang pastinya dia gak bakal inget sih. :)
..and suddenly, I think I need to tell him my true feeling.
Just to let him know, not to let him give the answer (BIG NO! haha -_-)
Because we will (of course) never getting together, I will enter my college, I have to say bye-bye for my teenage time in a moment.
And I feel like, what have I done for the past 4 years? love the same guy all the time -__-
meskipun, yaa. untuk ngelupain pun perlu waktu juga,
Sebenernya nggak genap 4 tahun juga sih, ada masanya dimana gw biasa aja dan lebih fokus sama kegiatan di sekolah (ya jelas kalo ini mah hahaha), dan pernah ngerasa sama seseorang waktu di Jogja, tapi dalam jangka waktu yang singkat, mungkin karena kenalnya nggak lama kali yaa.
Istilahnya gw perlu move on gitulahh.
Lagian yaelah, gw masih umur 18 tahun, gw pingin di masa depan nanti ada masa dimana gw flashback dan keinget "wah dulu gw pernah bilang suka ke ini orang hahaa yaampun"
call me crazy or what, so I just told my crush that I love him for at least 4 years.
yaampun buat ngumpulin keberanian itu lamaaa banget.
karena gw gak mungkin ketemu dia, gw tunggu dia online di facebook. kadang dia online, tapi nyali gw pas lagi ciutt banget. kadang gwnya udah berani pingin ngomong eh dianya off hahaha
akhirnya hari ini, gw bisa chat sama dia \o/
So I told him.
and at first, I feel like goin' crazy. dalem hati :
"ANJER GW BARU AJA KASIH TAU DIA KOK GW BEGO AMAT YAA NGAPAIN KASIH TAU TERUS GIMANA INI ADOOOH GW NYESEEELLL"
Trus gw ngeline Laras sambil emot nangis2 (dalam keadaan dia belom tau apa2) hahaha oon banget dah
unpredictably, he was really surprised, I thought he already knew that.
But thankyou, really.
thank you so much.
For your gentle and wise reaction. I really appreciate that.
Dia sangat memaklumi (meskipun kaget banget) dan tetep jadi dia yang apa adanya.
Trus dia nanya,
"kenapa lo baru kasih tau sekarangg..?"
Heh, dipikir ngasi tau kyk gitu gampangg hahaha :))
That's why I choose you. I choose to tell you.
I keep our chat in my folder, so a years later, I will open it again and give that screen a smile.
And I think..... 4 years is not really a waste of time for loving you. Even only in my side.
Sad ending? Not really... called it a "sad ending" when at the end, He didn't know that at all and I keep that feeling for myself.
Tadinya gw mikir mau nge-post ini apa kaga,
but this is my blog, a part of my story written here.
Dan menurut gw sih ini wow banget loh hahaha
meskipun awalnya nervous gila2an...tapi akhirnya lega juga.
Legaaa banget.
Setelah gw ngomong itu, gw langsung setel lagu2 galau dan nangisss hahaha iya nangiss
ya sedih aja karena emang ini udah selesai..
Nah dengan ini gw bisa beranjak dari masa SMA gw deh.:))
ditutup dengan lagu dari Endah and Rhesa ini ya.. *berasa penyiar radio*
I love you but it’s not so easy
To make you here with me
I wanna touch and hold you forever
But you’re still in my dream
And I can’t stand to wait your love is coming to my life
But I still have a time to break a silence
(ayooo tangannya melambaaii~ \o\ \o/ /o/ )
Reff:
When you love someone just be brave to say
That you want him to be with you
When you hold your love don’t ever let him go
Or you will loose your chance to make your dream come true
I used to hide and watch you from a distance
And i knew you realized
I was looking for a time to get closer
At least to say hello
And I can’t stand to wait your love is coming to my life
Repeat reff
I never thought that i’m so strong
I stuck on you and wait so long
But when love comes it can’t be wrong
Don’t ever give up, just try and try to get what you want
Cause love will find the way
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